Dungeons and Dragons

A roll of the dice and a sip of the Dew
A Player’s Handbook and a DM’s Guide too
Bust out the chips and a ten-sided die
Get out some paper, get ready to write
Your character sheets whether elf or an eladrin
Make him a druid or bard or a paladin
Chaotic evil or lawfully good
Make sure he’s wearing a cloak with a hood
If he’s too modern, he just won’t fit in
With the rest of the party on this nerdy campaign
But if all of that just isn’t enough
If rolling dice is not up to snuff
Then break out the cloaks and the foam-covered swords
Maybe some miniatures and maybe a board
Put on some Rush and turn down the lights
And larp your heart out with all of your might
And if you are one who is just pretty sure
That the inherent and evil allure
Of this innocent game is that it’s absurd
It won’t make you evil, it will just make you a nerd

Poem News 8/8/2011

The debt deal is bogus and the market is crashing
GOP and the President hashing
All of this out, but the facts are right there
If we don’t rein this in, we’re in for a scare
Monday morning is most certainly bust
The market is too crazy for investors to trust
But come on, Wall Street, and just get a grip
America is not in the mood for this flip
And it’s not just the States, but Asia and Europe
The entire planet is trying to cope
But really everyone needs to chill
Starting spending your paychecks or it will all go downhill!

Turn Off Your Blinker

Your blinker is on and I wish that it wasn’t
Your blinker is on and obviously it doesn’t
Mean that you’re turning so why don’t you
Turn off your blinker

Your blinker is on and it has been for miles
Your blinker is on and it’s making me vile
All I can look at is that orange light
So please—turn off your blinker

Sometimes while I’m stuck on the freeway

Crawling in traffic while my life slips away
I’m tired, I’m grumpy, and I don’t want to be there
Surrounded by others who drive just to scare
But then you showed up and cut into line
You almost side swiped me too, you swine
And then just to make it all peachy
You turned on your blinker and since Exit 133
We have all suffered since you simply can’t see
That you need to turn off the damn blinker already